Medication

When I started this blog some time ago, I really truly believed I could manage my anxiety with vitamins. I was successful in managing my depression with Niacin and have for a couple of years. But for the life of me, I could never find a vitamin to control my anxiety, nor more importantly, my agoraphobia. So, out of options I made the very difficult decision to go back on medication.

As a lot of people with Mental Illness knows, taking medication is a pain in the ass! Not just the process of having to remember to take said pill/pills at regular intervals but also having to deal with the side effects, that at times, feels like someone is pulling your belly button out through your nostril.

I was on Buspar for three months. Every single day, three times a day, I felt like I was going to puke my soul out. I never adjusted to the Buspar. My psychiatrist then put me Pristiq, 50mg once a day. The ONLY side effect I have noticed with this medication is the lack of appetite. When I say lack, I mean zero appetite. I have lost so much weight (which is anxiety inducing on it's own, but that's for another blog) that the tattoo I have on my left wrist has shifted. But the anxiety was still there. So, she added Lamotrigine (Lamictal), 50mg once a day for two weeks and then 100mg once a day thereafter.

Saturday was the first day I actually felt something was different. By then, I had been on the combination Pristiq/Lamotrigine (Lamictal) cocktail for about four days. I spent 8 hours in the backyard working on rebuilding my fascia on my house. 8 hours. Outside of my house. I did not notice the anxiety. I didn't think about the fact that I was outside. I thought it was maybe a fluke because 1. it was a project that needs to get done, and 2. Melissa was with me the whole time. Then Monday rolls around and I have to go to therapy. I drop Melissa off at work and head to my appointment. I feel a titch anxious but not like normal. I come home after my appointment and take a nap. I leave the house once again to go get Melissa from work, this time I feel a bit more anxious but still not like usual.

Then yesterday and today I am still doing some work on the house and I am outside. The anxiety is there but a LOT less than usual. I really do think the combination of Pristiq and Lamotrigine (Lamictal) is actually doing something. I think this is the combination I have waited for for so many years. I have been on: Depakote, Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft, Gabapentin (which caused me to gain 45 pounds in a month and nearly cut off my breathing), Lexapro,Xanax, Buspar. The Xanax works but I don't like taking it, so I until recently recently, I only took it when I had to leave my house. I haven't taken it today. Even though I am working outside today and probably will for a few hours, I haven't felt a need to take it.

As much as I hate it, I think I am benefiting from the medication. I am also skeptical because it is still new to me and I have only taken it for a short time. We shall see in a few months once my system has had prime opportunity to adjust to it fully. But still, I can't help but get a bit excited by the early results.